Freaky Friday: Russians Just Know How to Have a Good Time, Period

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

Maybe it’s the cold, the dodgy economy, or lingering memories of decades spent lining up for milk. Whatever the motivation, Russians don’t seem to need the latest and greatest high-tech gadget to help them pass the time. Nope, just grab a few friends, spend a few rubles amassing a collection of ancient hatchbacks, and hit the ice.

The winter of 2017 has brought an inventive new sport to the frozen wastes of the Motherland, and locals can thank a plethora of worthless, Soviet-era crapwagons for the entertainment. Apparently, there are automobiles worth less than stones.

In the snowy city of Yekaterinburg, the hardly inhabitants of Sverdlovsk Oblast can thank the lowly VAZ-1111 Oka for their new pastime of auto curling. Yes, it’s the same game of precision, boredom and confusing scoring that takes place in buildings you hope to never enter, only with larger rocks. In this case, two-cylinder ones.

Designed in the late 1970s, the Oka eventually made it to production in 1988 and lingered until 2008. Looking like an even cheaper version of the Ford Festiva, the bargain-basement Oka was renowned for its cheapnesss, inexpensiveness, affordability, low ownership costs, and off-road ability. Its 650 cc twin was actually a Lada Samara engine cut in half.

Perhaps the city of Yekaterinburg was still annoyed by all the press a certain city to the south got a few years back with its explode-y asteroid. Certainly, it figured it was about damn time for an event worthy of national publicity. (A 1979 military anthrax outbreak notwithstanding.) So, on a large public skating rink, it cobbled together two teams of Oka drivers. Just like in a regular game of curling, the teams attempted to slide their “stone” closest to the bulls-eye painted on the ice.

In order to lighten the vehicles, and for safety, window glass and engines were jettisoned pre-tournament. Thus, the cars got underway in the same manner as a curling stone, minus the seemingly pointless sweeping and incessant cries of “hurry haaaard!” What does that even mean?

“Loud bangs could be heard all around, as the fragile Okas, cars that were considered somewhat a joke even by Soviet consumers brought up on Ladas, clattered into each other,” reported RT.

The winning team walked away with approximately $1,600, which could buy dozens, if not hundreds, of VAZ-1111 Okas.

[Image capture: TACC/ YouTube]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

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  • Gtem Gtem on Mar 24, 2017

    "The winning team walked away with approximately $1,600, which could buy dozens, if not hundreds, of VAZ-1111 Okas." $1600 is about 90k rubles give or take. A really rusty non-runner Oka could probably be found for 5k rubles, 10k for a really rough runner. Also worth looking at in the crazy world of Russian motorsports is ZiL farm truck racing: https://youtu.be/hEX9rlHQTFE

  • Art Vandelay Art Vandelay on Mar 27, 2017

    In Russia...car crashes YOU!!!

  • Dave M. What???? Big business taking advantage of us? I thought it was all Biden's fault!?!
  • OA5599 Now if we could only get Toyota to change BZ4X...
  • FreedMike You mean the petroleum market is manipulated and doesn't respond to normal supply/demand? No way. Can't be. This, folks, is why electrification is important - the only reason why the petroleum industry gets away with this is because they were the only game in town for over a century. That has GOT to change or we'll keep getting ripped off.
  • JMII Ironically, it’s actually the oil companies themselves that have walked back production as a way to maintain higher prices.You don't say? I'm shocked. I thought we could just wave a magic wand and lower gas prices.
  • Jkross22 You know that feeling you get when you're nervous and you can feel it in your gut? Everytime I see one of these I get that. Yeah, they look great. Yeah, it'll be the worst decision of the year. And next year. And the year after that.
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