I had amazing sex with a guy who seemed nice and genuine but now he’s ghosted me
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD amazing sex with a guy who chased me at the beginning, but now he has ghosted me. I feel like I’ve been played.
I am a woman of 28, while this man is 30. We got to know one another online.
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He seemed nice and genuine. We were both single and had lots in common.
He chased me and I made it clear I wasn’t one to sleep around but finally agreed to meet up with him. I thought he was interested in me and really liked me.
He knew I was a single mother with a three-year-old daughter.
He lives quite a distance away, so he booked a hotel in my local town so we could meet up while my mum babysat for me.
We got on really well and he kept on and on asking me to come back to his hotel room with him. In the end, I agreed.
We slept together and the sex felt brilliant. I thought we had some sort of future together.
That was three months ago. But I was shocked when I tried to reach out several times afterwards, only for him to refuse all contact.
Eventually he did reply but made it out he was the injured party.
He said I hadn’t had to sleep with him, that nobody had forced me to go back to his hotel room with him and that he had never really been interested in me.
But the truth is, he was the one who invited me back to his hotel and pressured me into sleeping with him. He knew I’d fallen in love with him.
He was the one always saying sweet things, being all lovey-dovey.
I tried to say no to him but got sucked in by his charm. Now he accuses me of being his stalker.
Why have sex with me if he had no feelings in the first place?
It was very hurtful. I would have been totally understanding if he’d just been honest and said there was no chemistry.
I wanted to stay friends but he doesn’t want that either.
My little girl is gorgeous but I’ve felt so lonely through the long weeks of lockdown.
topic4today
ONE in three kids will see their parents split up before they hit 16 – and it can have a terrible impact if parents use them as pawns in a battle.
My e-leaflet When Parents Fall Out tells how to limit the damage.
For a copy email me at problems@deardeirde.org or message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: I am afraid some people are turned on by the chase and will say whatever they think you want to hear – then lose all interest after sleeping with you.
You have learned a harsh lesson that sex is rarely a good idea the first time you meet somebody for real.
But behaving like this isn’t going to make him happy now or in future.
Take a deep breath and promise yourself you won’t let this experience spoil the rest of your life.
My e-leaflet Social Life For Single Parents has lots of ideas.
Gingerbread, the organisation for single parents, can help you join up with others for company and support (gingerbread.org.uk, 0808 802 0925).