Like Prof Lockdown I’m having a quarantine affair – there’s phone sex but hearing his girl in the background kills me
STOLEN kisses and secret hook-ups have all been halted in lockdown for those having an affair - unless you’re Professor Neil Ferguson.
The shamed scientist, nicknamed Professor Lockdown, was branded a hypocrite this month after telling the nation to stay at home while asking his mistress, Antonia Staats, to travel across London to meet with him.
The 51-year-old, who quit his role as a government advisor, reportedly met with married Antonia, 38, who is thought to be in an open relationship, at least twice.
So just how can affairs carry on during lockdown?
Here, banking advisor, Fawn Holmes, 26 , from Coventry, who has been ‘the other woman’ for two years, describes the reality of being a mistress in quarantine.
I’m used to things getting a bit hot and steamy when my lover Tom* calls. After two years together, I know how to turn him on both in the flesh and on the phone.
But then, last week, as I whispered what I’d like him to do to me, I heard another woman laughing in the background.
The sound hit me like a punch in the stomach.
It was his girlfriend – the woman Tom is living with in lockdown while I am a hundred miles away, unable to see him and with no prospect of being able to do so for weeks and weeks.
Not only can we not see each other, but as Tom is confined to home it’s harder for us to talk to each other as well.
He does his best. He’s saved my number in his phone as a business contact so I can call him and hear his voice even just for a minute, and he sneaks out up to four times a day to call me - sometimes from his garage, sometimes while he’s out for a walk.
On occasions, we’ve managed to have some pretty intense phone sex, as well as sharing our feelings and emotions.
But inevitably a lot of the calls are shorter, and sometimes I can tell he’s stressed.
It’s not Tom’s fault, but it’s hard not to feel cheated. For the last two years I have felt like Tom’s equal, in a relationship where we both know the score: great sex, and companionship without the traps of domesticity.
Lockdown has changed all that: knowing he’s with his girlfriend 24/7 has left me feeling frustrated and jealous – emotions I’ve not experienced with him before.
I wonder if they’re sat on the sofa together watching a Netflix series we like – and if they’re getting on better now that they’re spending so much time together.
Sometimes I find myself sitting alone on the sofa, champagne chilling, candles lit, checking my phone for the hundredth time waiting for him to call - angry at myself for being such a cliché.
I first met Tom, now 32, and a property developer, five years ago when I was 22 and a student at Newport University.
We hit it off instantly but, at first, we were just friends, although I knew he fancied me from the way I’d catch him looking at me.
We lost touch for a while after I left university halfway through to move to Coventry to work in a sales job to get some extra money to pay for my degree, but we reconnected when I moved back to Newport in March 2017.
By then I was recovering from the breakdown of a year-long relationship which had ended acrimoniously and left me devastated, both personally and financially.
Tom mentioned he was living in Bristol and had a partner - but when he asked me out I didn’t hesitate because after a difficult few months I felt I deserved a bit of fun.
Then there was the fact that Tom was comfortably off: after being hit hard by the recent break up, I’d vowed that whoever I got involved with next would look after me not just emotionally but financially too.
By this point a couple of my friends had become ‘sugar babies’ – dating wealthy men who had wives or partners who helped with their rent and tuition fees in return for extra-marital sex and companionship.
It seemed the best of both worlds – some fun and, hopefully, a bit of cash without commitment.
As Tom and I were already good friends, things evolved naturally without us having to set out specific terms.
Instead when we first met for dinner at a local restaurant, the conversation flowed freely and there was amazing chemistry. We ended the night with fantastic sex at my house.
From there things moved quickly: very soon we were speaking on the phone every day and meeting up as often as we could: spending weekends or the odd weeknight together at my home when Tom could schedule a ‘business trip.’
Sometimes, I would book into a hotel in Bristol to see him too.
From the start the sex was great, with lots of dress up and role play – he likes me to play the submissive. We’ve had sex outside and even taken a cheeky video or two.
Fawn Holmes
From the start the sex was great, with lots of dress up and role play – he likes me to play the submissive. We’ve had sex outside and even taken a cheeky video or two.
I’m not embarrassed to tell him what I like and vice versa – something that is often missing from many long-term relationships and marriages.
At the same time it’s not all about sex: Tom has always gone out of his way to make me feel special too, sending me flowers, lingerie and chocolates. We have amazing chats where we talk about anything and everything.
It helps that from the start both of us were honest about what we expected. I didn’t set out with the aim of getting Tom to leave his partner, and he was open about the fact that while he wasn’t sure if his long-term girlfriend was a keeper, he wasn’t promising me anything.
And yes, Tom is happy to help me out financially when he can, giving me money for rent and bills when I am short and buying nice bits of furniture.
I don’t see anything wrong with it: a lot of partners have a financial side to their relationship - why shouldn’t I? The only difference was that ours was out in the open.
In fact, I refuse to feel any guilt. I know some people will see me as a homewrecker, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. His partner is his responsibility not mine – and besides, I’ve even got a sneaky suspicion she has an idea what is going on but has decided to turn a blind eye as it’s easier.
Either way, the situation isn’t ideal although I am trying to focus on the positive: now we can’t touch each other, I’m getting to know more about Tom as a person.
In a funny way, I appreciate him more – and I know the feeling is mutual.
At the same time, being on my own for all this time has made me realise that at some point I want a relationship I can call my own, with marriage and kids.
I don’t expect sympathy – I went into this with my eyes open – but there are times when I’ve felt really lonely.
Lockdown may not sound the death knell for my relationship - but it has made me wonder how much longer it can last.
*Name changed
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