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Ulrika Jonsson reveals lockdown has brought her closer to ex-husband Brian Monet

LOCKDOWN has kept many of us apart – but for some it has brought them closer together.

Hollywood stars Bruce Willis and Demi Moore divorced 20 years ago yet have been happily isolating together in Idaho with their daughters and partners, plus other relatives.

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 Ulrika Jonsson reveals has been spending part of lockdown with ex-husband Brian, who is the father of her son Malcolm
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Ulrika Jonsson reveals has been spending part of lockdown with ex-husband Brian, who is the father of her son MalcolmCredit: Rex Features

And they are not the only family to find a new normal in these strange times.

TV personality and mother of four Ulrika Jonsson is spending part of her time in lockdown with ex-husband Brian Monet, 51, the father of her son Malcolm.

Here, the 52-year-old tells how the pandemic has given their relationship a new lease of life – and love.


IF you told me two years ago that a cruel and punitive virus would devastate the globe and make me spend more time with my ex-husband, I’d have believed the first part but not the latter.

My ex moved out about 18 months ago, our marriage having been put through the wringer for many reasons — one of them being a devastating lack of ­intimacy.

We shared 14 years together and I always felt he was my best friend.

 Ulrika Jonsson split from third husband Brian Monet last year after 11 years of marriage
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Ulrika Jonsson split from third husband Brian Monet last year after 11 years of marriageCredit: Alamy

When I met him, 15 years ago, I already had three children and he took us all on with more grace and sincerity than I could ever have hoped for.

He made an outstanding stepfather to my three children and we went on to have a child of our own 12 years ago, and his paternal skills reached even greater heights.

But a relationship cannot live on domesticity alone. I craved loving, physical touch and emotional ­reassurance and our marriage felt barren on all fronts.

We carried on co-parenting closely and well. But I think there comes a point in the breakdown of a relationship when you just need to be apart — you cannot exist alongside each other any more because it’s detrimental to your sanity and, most of all, to the children.

'I felt terrible anxiety overwhelm me'

And therein lies the rub. Once you are connected through children, you are connected for ever.

You have to find some way of ­getting along for the sake of them and as long as you remember to love your children more than you hate your partner, that should be ­absolutely possible.

I never, ever hated my ex-husband. I resented him for the heartbreak he caused.

I thought we would be together for eternity. But in some peculiar way, we are, of course, together for ever by virtue of our children.

 Ulrika, Brian and kids enjoy a picnic during lockdown
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Ulrika, Brian and kids enjoy a picnic during lockdown

When coronavirus assaulted all our lives I think I was in shock, and the empathetic aspect to my personality meant I worried for others, regardless of the past or the present.

I felt a terrible anxiety overwhelm me but my instinct was to make sure everyone else was OK ­— and that included my ex. For the first time in all our years together we had a frank exchange about our unease, fear and sheer ­terror.

While I may worry about my own state of mind, I always have the capacity to worry more about others.

The children need their father and this felt like some kind of galvanising moment between us.

As we moved forward, only capable of taking one day at a time because that’s all any of us can really do, I felt a real joining of forces.

We’ve never, ever argued over the children, so arrangements remained fluid and flexible. I would offer to get things at the shops for him and vice versa.

 Ulrika's daughter Martha said she was glad the pandemic didn't happen when the marriage was 'disintegrating'
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Ulrika's daughter Martha said she was glad the pandemic didn't happen when the marriage was 'disintegrating'Credit: Getty Images - Getty

It seemed churlish for me to be cooking for three children while he sits in his home, across the road, ­eating on his own, so I would ask him over to eat with us.

I felt this was important for the children but, admittedly, it was an added bonus to not just have my bulldogs to talk to.

When I’ve needed help with ­something at the house, he has obliged. When his hair got too long, he brought his clippers over and I did the best I could.

When I’ve baked cakes or sourdough, he gets first pickings.

There has been no atmosphere, and if we need to exclude the children from a serious conversation, we switch to Swedish, as Bri is fluent from his time living there many years ago.

We’ve barbecued together, marked Easter as we always did with food, drink and an egg hunt, enjoyed Swedish meals and had pizza night.

 Ulrika says the dynamic has worked as enough time has spaced that Brian and herself 'no longer have ownership over each other'
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Ulrika says the dynamic has worked as enough time has spaced that Brian and herself 'no longer have ownership over each other'Credit: Rex Features

But there is a stark difference between this and being in a relationship — a failing or functional one.

Enough time and space has passed between us that we no longer have ownership over each other.

I have no right to get cross or irritated any more because we are both free and have complete self-determination — we no longer belong to each other.

And that engenders a kind of newborn respect — for each other or between two souls who once shared something special.

You can’t nag but you can ask. You can’t demand but you can exchange something which isn’t loaded with all the burdens of the past.

We have contact every day and often when our son is staying at his dad’s, they pop over and have a jump on the trampoline or pick up a game or a toy. It’s a fluid set-up but one which brings comfort to us all at this time of utter uncertainty.

'Feels natural'

For the children it all feels very natural too. It doesn’t feel unusual.

My 15-year-old daughter Martha did pull me aside and say that she was grateful coronavirus hadn’t come at a time when our marriage was disintegrating. “That would be absolute hell, Mum,” she said. And she’s so right.

I know of friends who are currently in that situation and I know what a struggle it was for me towards the end, so what the addition of a ­pandemic forcing you together must do doesn’t bear thinking about.

My ex and I have shared some laughs too during this time, something which was lacking in our marriage. That’s bittersweet but definitely more sweet than bitter.

 Ulrika says the lockdown has reminded her that they'll always be a family
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Ulrika says the lockdown has reminded her that they'll always be a familyCredit: Rex Features

Our oldest daughter, 19-year-old Bo, was busy on TikTok the other day and laughed as she saw us smiling together. “The band is getting back together,” she giggled. We turned to her with a hefty dose of both ­amusement and bemusement. No, the band is not “getting back together”.

We have been busy carving out our own solo careers — I started seeing somebody a few months ago and I have no idea what my ex is up to.

But we were somehow, by some unexpected twist of fate, brought together for this exclusive, farewell “tour”. Because we remain a family. And always will.

And other get Covid cosy too...

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore

 Demi, Bruce and the kids have been isolating in Idaho together
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Demi, Bruce and the kids have been isolating in Idaho togetherCredit: Instagram

Bruce Willis, 65, and wife Emma Heming, 41, were invited to ­quarantine in Idaho by his ex Demi Moore, 57, two decades after the stars divorced.

They are joined by their three daughters, Rumer, 31, Scout, 28, and Tallulah, 26, the girls’ partners and other relatives.

Scout said: “It’s been really funny to have both parents in the house.”

Rebecca Adlington

 Rebecca Adlington has been in lockdown with ex-husband Harry, pictured left, and new partner, pictured back row
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Rebecca Adlington has been in lockdown with ex-husband Harry, pictured left, and new partner, pictured back rowCredit: Instagram

WHILE not living together, Olympic swimmer Rebecca, 31, has been ­sharing moments in lockdown with ex-husband Harry Needs, 28, left.

The couple split in 2016 after 18 months together but co-parent their four-year-old daughter ­Summer. Rebecca is living in Stockport with new partner Andrew Parsons, 30, back row.

Shia LaBeouf and Mia Goth

 Shia and Mia were seen out cycling in LA this week, sparking rumours they're isolating together
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Shia and Mia were seen out cycling in LA this week, sparking rumours they're isolating togetherCredit: The Mega Agency

TRANSFORMERS actor Shia, 33, and actress wife Mia, 26, married in 2016, only to split two years later.

They were spotted together adopting a puppy in LA last month and were out cycling this week, ­sparking speculation that they are isolating together.

Jesse Metcalfe and Cara Santana

 Jesse is reportedly in the guest house of the LA home he once shared with Cara
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Jesse is reportedly in the guest house of the LA home he once shared with CaraCredit: The Mega Agency

DESPERATE Housewives actor Jesse, 41, and his actress and fashion blogger girlfriend Cara, 35, split in January after more than ten years together.

During lockdown, Jesse is reportedly staying at a guest house on the grounds of the LA home they once shared.

Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson

 Khloe and Tristan are in lockdown together for the sake of daughter True
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Khloe and Tristan are in lockdown together for the sake of daughter TrueCredit: Refer to Caption

KHLOE, 35, split from NBA star Tristan, 29, after he cheated on her – but they are in lockdown together for the sake of their two-year-old daughter True.

Khloe said: “I know how much he loves her and cares about her, so I want him to be there.”

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Ulrika Jonsson jokes about lack of sex during coronavirus lockdown as she puts up Ikea furniture

 

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