Lagonda Vs Rolls-Royce Battle Continues, Now With Fewer Petty Insults

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

Egg spoons fell to the tabletop and kippers went uneaten as noblemen across the land gazed in slack-jawed silence at the new Cullinan SUV high-bodied car unveiled by Rolls-Royce this morning.

It’s a vehicle so excessive in its dimensions and interior trappings, even long-deceased kings might find it gauche. Or, perhaps, just the right thing with which to ferry their corpulence from one sherry-stained dinner function to another. Polarizing, to say the least. One internet wag remarked that the Cullinan resembled a hearse with a backseat.

Regardless of how you feel about it, no one’s going to deny that Rolls-Royce now stands regally atop the luxury SUV hill, gazing down upon its lesser rivals with contempt. Clearly, the thought of the century-old British automaker pulling this off must have ground Lagonda’s gears, as the recently revived British luxury marque sought to get out in front of the introduction with an announcement of its own.

It seems the rivalry didn’t end after a testy spat earlier this year.

You’ll recall the war of words between RR and Aston Martin’s Lagonda brand. The returning marque claimed RR was a dusty old fogey with no new ideas, while RR countered by saying Aston Martin had “no clue” what ultra-luxury buyers like, and no clue how to attract them.

It was posh and scrappy all at the same time.

The two marques offer vastly different interpretations of what a luxury vehicle can be. With an upcoming production vehicle inspired by its Blade Runner-esque Lagonda Vision Concept (revealed earlier this year in Geneva), Lagonda hopes to attract a new type of super-premium buyer. The type attracted to radical, cutting-edge design. The type that isn’t afraid of kicking tradition to the curb and embracing new technologies.

Rolls-Royce, on the other hand, is all about dignified wood trim and suicide doors and positively Edwardian plushness. Beneath the long hoods of its cars beat multi-cylindered hearts powered by “gasoline.”

So, it wasn’t a surprise to see Lagonda issue a press release on May 9th, a day before the Cullinan’s reveal, touting great things to come in the insanely premium utility vehicle field. A “radical, sector-defining zero-emission SUV” will debut in 2021, the automaker claimed, one “exclusively driven by zero emission powertrain technologies.”

The new vehicle “will uphold all the qualities of the reinvented super-luxury marque,” it continued, promising an updated take on the design language seen on the Vision Concept. The image released Thursday shows a vehicle with the same overall shape, but even less side glass than the concept. Essentially, it’s a concept based on a concept.

“In reviving one of the most iconic names in motoring we have created a unique opportunity,” said Aston Martin CEO Andy Palmer in a statement. “One that allows us to cast aside an inherited 20th century approach and instead design cars around 21st century demands and desires. The Lagonda SUV is the first of its kind: a spacious, high-performance 4×4 that successfully reconciles a love of technology, luxury and style.”

Apparently, modern luxury buyers won’t feel the need to peer out the side of their cars. While the design will surely change come production, it’s incredibly amusing to see these two old Brits going at it. To the best of our knowledge, RR hasn’t responded to Lagonda’s attempt at one-upping its debut. Really, it doesn’t need to. The Cullinan itself is all the ammo RR needs to fight its resurrected rival.

[Image: Aston Martin]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

More by Steph Willems

Comments
Join the conversation
2 of 8 comments
  • Hydromatic Hydromatic on May 11, 2018

    I have to wonder if Aston Martin will ever launch a "Lagonda" sub-brand with SUVs and fastbacked sedans galore.

  • Tstag Tstag on May 12, 2018

    Why not show the recent Lagonda SUV concept car rather than this pic? It looks futuristic in a good way and is highly original. Personally I think the Cullen is horrid the Lagonda will whip its ass, I say that as a Rolls-Royce Royce fan!

  • TheEndlessEnigma I would mandate the elimination of all autonomous driving tech in automobiles. And specifically for GM....sorry....gm....I would mandate On Star be offered as an option only.Not quite the question you asked but.....you asked.
  • MaintenanceCosts There's not a lot of meat to this (or to an argument in the opposite direction) without some data comparing the respective frequency of "good" activations that prevent a collision and false alarms. The studies I see show between 25% and 40% reduction in rear-end crashes where AEB is installed, so we have one side of that equation, but there doesn't seem to be much if any data out there on the frequency of false activations, especially false activations that cause a collision.
  • Zerocred Automatic emergency braking scared the hell out of me. I was coming up on a line of stopped cars that the Jeep (Grand Cherokee) thought was too fast and it blared out an incredibly loud warbling sound while applying the brakes. I had the car under control and wasn’t in danger of hitting anything. It was one of those ‘wtf just happened’ moments.I like adaptive cruise control, the backup camera and the warning about approaching emergency vehicles. I’m ambivalent  about rear cross traffic alert and all the different tones if it thinks I’m too close to anything. I turned off lane keep assist, auto start-stop, emergency backup stop. The Jeep also has automatic parking (parallel and back in), which I’ve never used.
  • MaintenanceCosts Mandatory speed limiters.Flame away - I'm well aware this is the most unpopular opinion on the internet - but the overwhelming majority of the driving population has not proven itself even close to capable of managing unlimited vehicles, and it's time to start dealing with it.Three important mitigations have to be in place:(1) They give 10 mph grace on non-limited-access roads and 15-20 on limited-access roads. The goal is not exact compliance but stopping extreme speeding.(2) They work entirely locally, except for downloading speed limit data for large map segments (too large to identify with any precision where the driver is). Neither location nor speed data is ever uploaded.(3) They don't enforce on private property, only on public roadways. Race your track cars to your heart's content.
  • GIJOOOE Anyone who thinks that sleazbag used car dealers no longer exist in America has obviously never been in the military. Doesn’t matter what branch nor assigned duty station, just drive within a few miles of a military base and you’ll see more sleazbags selling used cars than you can imagine. So glad I never fell for their scams, but there are literally tens of thousands of soldiers/sailors/Marines/airmen who have been sold a pos car on a 25% interest rate.
Next