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It's Official: No One Has Sex on Mondays


Mondays are long, busy, stressful, and apparently, according to Instacart sales data, not very sexy. Sorry, Monday.

Using the Instacart Online Grocery Shopping Data Sheet for 2017, Owen Phillips threw together some amusing graphs regarding user condom purchases. When it’s all said and done, Wednesday actually sees the lowest number of condom sales, with the weekend having the highest. You’d think “hump day” would be seeing a little more action, but Wednesday is Instacart’s slowest day of the week overall.

But if you look at the same condom data in proportion to all items purchased, as Dan Kopf at Quartz did, you see a different story. As it turns out, Monday actually sees the least action, arguably making it the least sexy day of the week. People just aren’t buying condoms at the beginning of the week, and presumably not getting it on.

Admittedly, this conclusion isn’t exactly scientific. It’s entirely possible people buy fewer condoms on Monday because they have a bunch left over after buying them over the weekend, when people have plenty of time to get more bang for their buck. But let’s be real here, Garfield was onto something. Mondays do suck ... er, blow... well, they’re just not good.