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    85 Science Jokes That Will Make You Laugh And Then Say, "Hmmmmm"

    Some of these jokes are a bit experimental.

    Whether you're a certified nerd or just looking for something *humerus*, we rounded up the funniest science jokes, with the help of Reddit, Twitter and Tumblr. So what are you waiting for? Make like gravity and scroll down!

    1. "Velociraptor = distraptor/timeraptor."

    u/Jabberminor

    2. "What kind of bear dissolves in water? A polar bear."

    u/amonkus

    3. "For a good time, call 602-1023. Ask for Avogadro."

    u/Methuga

    4. "The Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says, 'We don't allow Higgs bosons in here.' The Higgs boson says, 'But without me you can't have mass!'"

    u/anonymous

    5. "What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!"

    u/Punsville

    6.

    different spellings and illustration of porcupine

    7. "A photon checks into a hotel. 'Do you need help with your luggage?' the clerk asks. 'No thanks, I’m traveling light.'"

    u/femtoparsec

    8. "Pavlov was sitting in a bar one evening after work. All of a sudden the phone rings. Pavlov jumps up and exclaims 'Crap! I forgot to feed the dog!'"

    u/AtmosphericHaze

    9. "What do you call root beer in a square glass? Beer."

    u/BananaBladeOfDoom

    10. "100 kilopascals go into a bar..."

    u/what_would_yeezus_do

    11.

    a comparison of The Rock and a rock

    12. "Companies should have more gametes in commercials because sex cells."

    u/GotHamm

    13. "Two scientists walk into a bar. Neither were drinkers so the first scientist says to the bartender, 'I'll have an H2O please.' The second scientist says, 'I'll have an H2O too, please.' He died."

    u/epiccrumbs1

    14. "Do I know any good jokes about sodium? Na."

    u/Dwarf--Shortage

    15. "My name is bond, ionic bond. Taken, not shared."

    u/eequalsmc2

    16.

    sign for veterinary clinic

    17. "Don't believe anything atoms say; they make up everything!"

    u/BallHawkDawkTR

    18. "Heard oxygen and magnesium were going out. I was like 'OMg!'"

    u/HowDoYouSayReddit

    19. "Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position."

    u/Jabberminor

    20. "What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms? 'HeHe.'"

    u/molly-ringworm

    21. "What does the sub-atomic duck say? Quark!"

    u/snowcaps-perhaps

    22.

    23. "Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they're cheaper than day rates."

    u/thecule

    24. "Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?"

    u/Jabberminor

    25. "What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? One molar solution."

    u/dronesinspace

    26. "Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are CuTe."

    u/molly-ringworm

    27.

    the text "oh no I spilled water all over my laptop" with H2O model atoms on it

    28. "A star walks in to a black hole and doesn't seemed phased. The black hole then turns to the star and says, 'Sir, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.'"

    u/Axing

    29. "How did silver get gold's attention? AY YOU!"

    u/LedZacclin

    30. "There are 10 kinds of people: those who know about binary numbers, those who don't, and those who can use base 3."

    u/peace_off

    31. "Know any good chemistry jokes? Na BrO."

    u/Omg_Words

    32.

    a guacamole joke

    33.

    a table with an element symbol and number

    34. "Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t."

    u/Punsville

    35.

    a joke about solute molecule and an impermeable membrane

    36. "Did you hear about the guy that reached absolute zero? He's 0K now."

    u/wildlikechildren365

    37.

    a joke that a person hates negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them

    38.

    a stick figure drawing of it standing and then falling down and the words "triene" and "diene"

    39.

    Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson on the subway together

    40.

    me: *kicks a stone* mountain: my baby

    Twitter: @athleisure_monk

    41.

    42.

    I'll just leave this here. #FlatEarth

    Twitter: @DocBastard

    43.

    rarepeperoni/tumblr / Via rarepeperoni.tumblr.com

    44. "A neutron walks into a bar and asked, "How much for a beer?" The bartender goes, 'For you? No charge.'"

    u/Levezinho

    45.

    46.

    a 3D drawing of H20 that makes hydrogen look like a butt with the words "water lowkey thicc"

    47.

    coldplay: look at the stars neil degrasse tyson: ok coldplay: look how they shine for you neil degrasse tyson: actually stars do not shine f

    Twitter: @reniadeb

    48.

    "um, Dr Schrodinger? I opened the box and, well... we may have a problem"

    Twitter: @enniscath

    49. "Helium walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve noble gases in here." Helium doesn't react."

    Anonymous 

    50.

    51.

    a caution wet floor sign with H20 models on the ground

    52.

    53.

    Twitter: @WholesomeMeme

    54.

    55.

    a poster that says science is a liar sometimes and the comment that science teachers had to explain to their students why Pluto got officially downgraded

    56.

    57.

    a joke about sulphur

    58. "Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because OCT31=DEC25."

    u/tsoccer93

    59.

    Sorry man I only have room in my heart for one thing: lots and lots of blood

    Twitter: @stephanidek

    60.

    I'm sorry if I've noted this before, but this bird description is still so harsh.

    Twitter: @EmilyGould

    61.

    geekwiththeglasses/tumblr / Via geekwiththeglasses.tumblr.com

    62.

    what do you call 2000 mockingbirds? 2 kilmockingbirds

    63.

    hahafunnylol/tumblr / Via hahafunnylol.tumblr.com

    64.

    nothingstacethesame/tumblr / Via nothingstacethesame.tumblr.com

    65.

    comediva-blog/tumblr / Via comediva-blog.tumblr.com

    66.

    alexander/tumblr / Via alexander.tumblr.com

    67.

    uselessleziban-blog/tumblr / Via uselessleziban-blog.tumblr.com

    68.

    chickie-buffer/tumblr / Via chickie-buffer.tumblr.com

    69.

    currentsinbiology/tumblr / Via currentsinbiology.tumblr.com

    70.

    kyleknight/tumblr / Via kyleknight.tumblr.com

    71.

    a pie chart of reasons the dinosaurs died out

    72.

    73.

    Twitter: @drjulie_b

    74.

    75.

    science defines a baby as "a small smooth poopy man, no taller than a lamp"

    Twitter: @Fred_Delicious

    76.

    hey girl are u a metamorphic amphibole cause you're gonna be

    Twitter: @cocksIap

    77.

    morris-less/tumblr / Via morris-less.tumblr.com

    78. "I'm reading a book on anti gravity. I'm finding it difficult to put down."

    u/Thinc_Ng_Kap

    79. "The neutron asks the bartender, a proton, if he's sure about that. The bartender replies 'I'm positive.'"

    u/ICantSeeIt

    80.

    dis4pp0intm3nt/tumblr / Via dis4pp0intm3nt.tumblr.com

    81. "What do we do with a dead chemist? Barium."

    u/PrplFlavrdZombe

    82.

    a person adding an element of surprise, AH, to the period table

    83.

    84.

    morris-less/tumblr / Via morris-less.tumblr.com

    85. "What do you call a benzene ring with iron in place of carbon?A ferrous wheel."

    u/SlimSlamtheFlimFlam

    This article contains content from Kelly Oakes and Hattie Soykan. It was compiled by Kelly Rissman.