Jon Hamm: ‘It’s hard to be single after being together for a long time. It sucks’

Vanity Fair 2017 Oscar Party

Jon Hamm has a lengthy new interview in the latest issue of InStyle. He’s promoting his role in Baby Driver, although this does not read as a straight-forward movie promotion interview. It reads more like “let’s check in with Jon Hamm for a random chat” kind of thing. The mean/bitchy part of my brain says “Jon Hamm thought he would be getting tons of scripts post-Mad Men and that hasn’t happened, so he’s reminding people that he exists.” That might even be true. But as I said, he is actually promoting Baby Driver. You can read the InStyle profile here. Some highlights:

He often cries when viewing art: “I’m just blown away by the beauty of it all. Especially when I see anybody performing at the peak of their ability. I see it, and I f—ing weep.”

He never wanted to be a huge star, which is why he took Mad Men: “We all want to be involved in something that takes hold of the culture and makes people sit up and say, ‘Hey, that’s interesting.’ Actually, that’s all I ever wanted. I never wanted to be a Tom Cruise type of megastar.”

His 2015 split from Jennifer Westfeldt. “It’s fine,” he says before adding quietly, “It’s hard. It’s hard to be single after being together for a long time. It’s really hard. It sucks.”

He believes in therapy: “Medical attention is medical attention whether it’s for your elbow or for your teeth or for your brain. And it’s important. We live in a world where to admit anything negative about yourself is seen as a weakness, when it’s actually a strength. It’s not a weak move to say, ‘I need help.’ In the long run it’s way better, because you have to fix it.”

Whether he pays attention to women’s fashion. “I do, man. I’m a heterosexual male, and I love a lady with style.” Aside from a few “ridiculous” fashion trends that leave him bewildered, Hamm likes it when a woman is confident enough to express her individuality through her clothes. “I think anything that serves to accentuate whatever your thing is and makes you feel good shows in the way you carry yourself.”

He’s still anti-social media: “The point of life is not to put dog ears on yourself and post it online for everyone to see. It’s fun, it’s adorable, but it’s the visual equivalent of masturbating—there’s no point other than immediate gratification.” (He does have a stealth Instagram account where he follows photographers and artists and a few travel sites, but he’s never posted anything.)

Losing his parents at a young age: “I’m certainly damaged—there’s no denying it. I was talking to my therapist yesterday, and she was newly flabbergasted at something I told her. I think she’d just forgotten it. I was like, ‘We’ve already gone through this!’ But if you look at the history of my life, it’s not great. When your mom dies when you’re 9, and your dad dies when you’re 20, and then you live on couches in other people’s basements … I mean, there’s certainly a version of that person who does not come out of it as successfully as I have.”

The current state of the world: There’s the current surge in anti-intellectualism combined with a growing suspicion of excellence and achievement. (“Curiosity is under siege. It’s a bummer.”) There’s the new U.S. president and the chaos in Washington. (“A disaster—a real disaster.”)

How he defines himself: “I may be a narcissist in the way that most actors are, but I think it’s not to the detriment of those in my life. I try to be a good friend, a good partner, and all that stuff. I’m not perfect, and it hurts when you hurt other people. But the hope is to find the right balance so you can care about your own stuff enough to live your life and do your job well while also not being a monster.”

[From InStyle]

Eh. “I’m not perfect, and it hurts when you hurt other people.” Remember the story that came out in 2015, about Hamm being the ringleader of a frat hazing gone wrong? That story was what I thought of, and it can’t be dismissed with a “I’m not perfect.” No one is perfect – we are all imperfect and we all behave badly sometimes. But very few people have that kind of past where they’ve been accused of that kind of violence through hazing. It’s amazing to me that Hamm has never really had to speak about those stories directly, because these kinds of soft-focus interviews never ask him. My point? It wouldn’t actually surprise me at this point to learn that he’s been an undercover a–hole this whole time.

Jon Hamm grocery shopping at Gelsons

Photos courtesy of WENN.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

25 Responses to “Jon Hamm: ‘It’s hard to be single after being together for a long time. It sucks’”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Esmom says:

    Oooh, I was liking pretty much everything he said, especially about how he regards therapy, until you bright up the frat having thing. Damn.

    As for the “tough being single” comment, I get that. One of my best friends is coming out of a long relationship and he is suffering so badly, for months and months now. My heart just breaks for him every day, I don’t know what to do to help except offer cliched platitudes that it will get better with time.

  2. slowsnow says:

    I am very conflicted about this.
    I instinctively go to: Mark Whalberg I have no problem believing he still is the douche who blinded that poor man in a certain way.
    John Hamm, I cannot connect what he did to his thoughtful and interesting interviews. I have a feeling he probably outgrew the M___f___r he once was.

    Or maybe I just find him clever, sexy and hot. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • Esmom says:

      I hear you. Hamm sounds like a guy who has done a lot of soul searching and reflecting over the years. I’d like to believe that redemption is possible. Wahlberg, not so much.

      It doesn’t hurt that Hamm is indeed clever, sexy and hot.

    • Kata says:

      I’ve read several fan encounters from charity events that say Mark is one of the nicest celebrities. Yet I can’t really forget what he did. The same thing with Hamm.

    • SM says:

      I agree. I am nkt sure why Hamm gets so mich hate here. Many years have passed since that collage incident. He may have changed. Unlike Mark Whalberg he is not acting like a douch now so maybe he found his way. And he is a good actor he made Don Draper

    • Emma33 says:

      I had a male friend who talked to me once about what it was like to lose his dad at twenty, he said he didn’t really feel that much sadness, his grief came out in anger and a lot of risk-taking behaviour (which really surprised him). When I heard about the timing of the death of Hamm’ s parents and his abusive behaviour, my friend’s story was the first thing I thought of. I would be willing to bet that Hamm was a ball of destructive anger at that time in his life…towards himself and others as well.

      • Slowsnow says:

        My dad lost his mum when he was 23. He started driving wreklessly (which does not seem like him at all) and he could have killed someone or/and died himself. When he told me this I had a hard time believing it. Grief makes you do very very strange things.

  3. third ginger says:

    I’m not so interested in the personal stuff, but I do wonder about his career. I have been watching show business for over 5 decades, and it is impossible to predict what will happen. Sometimes there is only one “role of a lifetime.” But a great part could come anytime.

    • slowsnow says:

      I also find that, like us on a minor scale, we build the career we are cut our for. You can hustle for a very big celebrity oriented kind of career (Tom Cruise, Chris Pratt, Brad Pitt), even if it doesn’t really work that well (Zack Efron), or you can be clever about the choices of films you make (Adam Scott, Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Amy Adams…) for instance. Michael Fassbender seems to be on the verge of both. Hamm does not seem cut out to say platitudes in parties and big Hollywood events.

  4. kate says:

    Poor thing is so sad to be single…maybe don’t cheat on your next partner with everything that breathes.

  5. minx says:

    I was a huge fan until I read about the frat stuff, then I cooled off. Now I’m on the fence–not sure if he learned from that mess or if he’s still a douche.

  6. Penelope says:

    I was never a *huge* fan to start with (though he was hot in Mad Men!) but the frat hazing horror ruined him for me. I don’t care how long ago it was, the fact that he was capable of such abusive, cruel, disgraceful behavior toward others is a huge red flag as to what kind of person he truly is.

  7. mkyarwood says:

    ‘Undercover’? Actors are better at their jobs when they’re not really… human. Peter Sellers often said he had no personality of his own.

  8. angie0717 says:

    Hammaconda. Single life should be a blast for this gorgeous gorgeous man.

  9. Moll says:

    He had a great woman who was devoted to him and he threw it away. Jen overlooked a lot of his wandering eye until she finally had enough and figured he wasn’t worth it.

    • LA Elle says:

      Hamm’s comments hit me as the prime example of “the grass is always greener on the other side.” Part of me wonders if he got the need for the meaningless one-night stands out of his system – and I get that it would be hard to not be interested when you have thousands of people praising your looks and women throwing themselves at you – and now he misses the deeper aspects of a long-term relationship.

      LTRs are hard, but I feel like not enough is talked about the benefits of being with someone beyond the physical. It’s little things like no longer having an automatic plus one to losing that comfort of someone who has seen you at your worst and is still there for you.

  10. D says:

    Personally think he was done with westfeldt for years but didn’t have the balls to dump her as he knew she had been so loyal to him in the lean years so he just hoped she would dump him and carried on enjoying himself eventually she did.
    Anyone falling for the “boohoo im sad im single” act is dumb

  11. Katherine says:

    I met Jon Hamm at the Emmys several years ago (during the height of Mad Men), and he was such a genuinely warm person. It was a pleasure to talk to him, and I was struck by how gracious he was. Definitely not everyone I met at the Emmys was as nice as he was. I have carried a torch for Jon ever since then!

  12. Bread and Circuses says:

    I think he’s a partial-undercover asshole who fully realizes he’s a partial-undercover asshole and knows it’s not okay.

    Or to put it more charitably, he’s damaged, but he’s trying to fix it.

  13. Justjj says:

    Is he not pretty open about his mental illness here and the traumatic events in his life? He did a horrid thing in college but it sounds like he’s at least trying to put things together and make peace w his past. I don’t know maybe since he’s so attractive I’m giving him too much credit but I don’t think he gives me bad guy vibes.